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Showing posts with label Leadership Character. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Leadership Character. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

On Becoming Mundane

Resurrecting a reflection on an experience from 31 years ago that’s as relevant today as ever…

It’s 1993 and I am 34 years old. I have planted a church in Canada and in Indonesia. Along the way I've gained experience in preaching, teaching, and administration. I'm gaining insights into leadership and organizational development. Now I am in Phnom Penh Cambodia, establishing the leadership structure for the international church I lead.

Life is good. Got to thinking about my future, and the thought crossed my mind that I could probably make it through the rest of my vocational ministry career without much more effort. I could ride that resume into the sunset of my career with no further effort. That was a very presumptuous thought. But more dangerous is the crippling attitude it reveals in me.

While I'm entertaining this perspective, I listen to a cassette tape by John Maxwell, a well know leadership author, pastor and coach. I don’t remember the topic, but I do remember the bomb he dropped into my world that day. He cautioned that the leader who is not on the growing edge is in danger of becoming “a mundane man or woman”. That word blows apart my presumptions and my comfortable world. My life is in danger of becoming commonplace, inert, mundane.

I had some choices to make.

Significant and developmental growth in our lives is determined or denied by the winner of the battle between choosing Courage or Fear. The challenge with Fear is its double edge. We fear launching into the new and unknown, but we also fear the consequences of inaction. At some point Courage must be exercised or we will remain immobilized between the two sharp edges of Fear.

I was immobilized. 

Not long after the challenge to my mundane-ness, I was presented with an opportunity to move outside my comfort zone, and build on my emerging interests and passions. I came across a master’s program in Organizational Leadership. Funny how the LAST THING I ever wanted in life was to go back to school. Certainly, there had to be other ways of developing myself. There were, and there are. But at that point in my life, I knew that I had to do something that would create a structure of accountability for my development. That program was it. I overcame Fear, borrowed Courage from my wife, and launched. The end result was not a degree on my wall, but the lifelong learning ethos it developed.

Why strive to grow? Growth inherently brings change, and change is hard. Why not remain content with where and who we are? There’s enough change in the world. We’re all tired of it. Is it not more virtuous and advantageous to be anchored? Is existence on the ‘growing edge’ worth it? You must answer this for yourself, but here are a few of my learnings and contributions to the thinking around this. Please add your own in the comments of this blog.

  1.  'Mundane' in some contexts means the ordinary, the everyday.  Learning to be content with that kind of 'mundaneness' is an antidote to the hurry-up, never satisfied life. 
  2. “The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance. It is the illusion of knowledge.” (Daniel Boorstin). Reflect on that as you think about discovering more about yourself, your abilities, your potential.
  3. “Fan the flame” of what has been entrusted to you. (2 Timothy 1). You’re a steward of the Creators’ design in you, and of the input of the community that has nurtured you. They all believe you have something to offer. 
  4. The answer to the prayer “Your Kingdom come. Your will be done on earth…” is fulfilled through inquisitive, growing, courageous and engaged people. We are not meant to sit back and wait for some divine rescue event. We are meant to engage, so engage well. Hone your life so it is a net contributor.
  5. A commitment to growth leads down the path of discovery. That inherently opens new horizons, new reasons and new opportunities to influence and effect change for human flourishing. Be prepared to course correct. 
  6. Personal development costs. So does a lack of development. Which cost are you willing to bear? What lost opportunities and unrealized dreams are you willing to exchange for your need of security and comfort?


I am now 65. The ‘mundane’ challenge is still (and again) before me. This is a time of life where most people would not begrudge me pulling back and ‘coasting’. I don’t have the energy of that 34 year old in Cambodia, and I still face the battle between Courage & Fear. But the only way to face it is to face it. So, I am launching into endeavours and engagements that will press me to learn. I will need to calibrate my energy and expectations at this stage of life. But I am throwing off the bowlines and setting sail.

Let’s see where this goes.

Harv

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Your Path Makes You


Many leaders live out of an illusion.

It’s an illusion that we can be the unconquerable masters of our fate and captains of our soul. This illusion has a deep root in the Western psyche, perhaps best captured in the 19th century poem Invictus by William Henley:

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.



In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.



Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.



It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

This ‘master of my fate’ life perspective is expressed in the notion of the ‘self-made man/woman’. It is regularly reinforced through the North American child-rearing mantra of: “you can be anything you want to be” and then echoed in adulthood via leadership gurus’ seminars and books. Just Google “you can be anything you want to be quotes” and you would think nothing can ever get in the way of our goals except our own level of belief in ourselves!

Reality check: No one is a self-made. No one finishes their life path the way they initially envisioned.

Truth check: You don’t make your path. Your path makes you.

This phrase "you don't make your path; your path makes you" came to me with particular power after a week of walking multiple paths along the Camino del Norte in August 2017. My experience in the previous 7 years was the crumbling of many of the best-laid plans for my own life and surprisingly, the successful accomplishment of some completely unplanned endeavours. These multiple events and circumstances created a zigzag pattern of experiences. I was reeling, wondering what to make of it all. I took a sabbatical for 3 months to try make sense of things, and this phrase popped up:    You don’t make your path. Your path makes you.

This isn't advocating giving up on dreaming and planning. It is about dealing with emerging reality and your ability to shift direction on the road to becoming resilient as a leader and person. Lets face it, plans get made, hopes are set high and then 'life' happens. Circumstances both within and outside our control determine the path we actually walk. In those moments, some things are demanded of you:

1. What CHOICE will you make? As I see it, there are 3 options. Accept, Refuse or Run. You have to determine in your circumstance what is called for. However, no matter your choice your path has already shifted to some degree.

2. What CHARACTER will you demonstrate? Your choice will call out your character. More important than the path you take is who you become as a result of your choice. Unplanned changes have a way of unearthing what is buried deep inside of us. A leaders' effectiveness derives more from character than skill, so pay close attention to what emerges!  Resilient leaders are not shaped by success so much as they are by challenge.

3. Will you accept the new CONDITIONS? This is the time for realism. Your circumstance and the new resulting path is what it is, so deal with it. The alternative is to keep living in your head and in a reality that does not exist! Acceptance doesn’t mean you must like the new path, but it does mean you receive it as a part of your new life. Only after acceptance can you begin to walk the new path with purpose and intention.

With great thought and planning I have designed many paths for my personal and leadership life, believing that I would become someone and accomplish something as I pursued the path. In all cases, I have experienced redirection and on occasion outright failure to arrive at my original destination. However, I am now the leader and person that I am not because I achieved my original plans, but because of who I have become in the process. I also believe that I am in my current position of leadership because of the character, interests and skills that have been shaped by my circumstances, because:

My path made me


Harv

“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Monday, March 24, 2014

The Strongest Thing in Your Life is…



Growing up in my church the pastor had a saying that has always stuck with me:  “The strongest thing in your life is what you’re looking at”.  He was right.  Whether a material focus, a relationship, a career – whatever - if it is front and centre for you, it carries the greatest power in your life for either good or ill. 

Something else is also true – and more powerful.

The strongest thing in your life is what you are saying to yourself”.

Here is a great example of this that recently went viral on Twitter: http://t.co/RzvhJU1LUN
 
On this nomadic journey, our leadership (and personal) experience will enter dark places as well as bright, wide open plains.  Each context brings with it some default self-talk.  In the dark you doubt.  In the light you feel strong.  Both can be deceptive, but that narrative will influence your actions and reactions.

Two choices face you:

  1. Let the narrative take its course.  Believe it long enough and you will act on it.  Believe it long enough and the narrative will become your story.  The big question here is – is it the story you want? 
  2. Stop and listen to the narrative and ask yourself a few clarifying questions:
  • To what extent is this the narrative I want for my life? 
  •  If I were to live out of this story, who would I be a year from now? 
  •  Am I proud to be associated with this story/narrative?  Is it a legacy I want to leave?  Is this the life I want to live?


Like this kid’s poem, take time to look at the flip side/the reverse of your current story.  Maybe that’s the better narrative.

Harv Matchullis