A Second Choice Life

We all know the “you can be anything you want to be” mantra of many parents is patently false.  Sounds empowering.  The brute reality is it can set kids up for disappointment and failure. 

However, you have grown out of it, right?  Maturity has set in and tempered expectations and dreams. Realism now rules.  You have settled in with contentment. 

Not for a lot of us.

Either spurred on by a leadership culture that presses us to grander visions, or our own deeply personal drive for the next thing, many of us develop scenarios and plans to reach toward our preferred life.  We then became heavily invested in that future.  It becomes us.  Our identity and even our sense of fulfillment, legacy or calling are tied into that life becoming reality.

What if it doesn’t?  What if your first choice of a life is derailed or unattainable?



What if you are now living a second choice life?

It’s happened to me.  I pursued a dream  (a God-given dream at that) to develop a ministry to international teams.  Left Canada for Kuwait in 2009.  Came back in 2010 crushed.  The life I now live isn’t what I planned.  It’s good, but there is a nagging sense that an ‘other’ life has eluded me.  The prospects of ever re-engaging it are fading.

This experience is shared by millions.  Refugees, entrepeneurs, modern day slaves, leaders and ordinary people who dare to dream.  What will we do in our second choice lives?

The ancient character Joseph walked this same path. His story (Genesis 37 & 39) has inspired me toward first choice living in a second choice life.  Josephs’ first choice life with his father & brothers was interrupted when he was sold into slavery.  Definitely a second choice life!  Somehow, he chose to live well and with integrity in his new context.  In so doing, he prospered.  Incidentally so did entire nations of people at the time and down the historical line!  Who knows the impact of first choice living in your second choice life?

Though your first choice life may have been taken away from you, the power to demonstrate and enjoy first choice living can never be taken.

It could be that God has made a 'first choice' life for you whether you believe it or not.

Carpe diem.  It’s all you have.

Getting Outside the Camp

The experiential reality of the nomadic leader is non-conformist.  They are wanderers and often seen as a bit ‘outside the camp’.  Their experience, thinking and perceptions typically are unconventional.  That is in part because they have eyes open to things beyond their current context.  Not all these wanderers are lost (thanks for the affirmation J R Tolkien!).  Nor are they unstable leaders.  For them, clarity and direction often comes while in a ‘wandering’ state.  Neuroscience affirms this.  We often have to stop thinking about the thing we need to think about in order to let our brains wander.  It’s during those times when our brains are released to make the kinds of connections that eventually lead to creative thought, clarity and ‘aha’ moments. 

Check out http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/neuroscience-relaxing-makes-you-more-creative.html

as a brief introduction to the benefits of 'wandering' for the brain .

I serve as a leader in (and from) an environment where not only are we outside the camp, but we seek  & serve others also who are not part of the mainstream.  Encompass Partnerships is a collaborative I lead that acknowledges society in general, and unfortunately often my own Christian community, have frequently ignored the needs of the 'others' who are not like us.  Collectively we have an ingrained tendency to be ‘campy’, settling into a great life with those who are like us. 

Encompass Partnerships' reason for existence is to collaborate with individuals, agencies and churches who have a commitment to go to the edge of society where the transforming presence, power and abundance through Jesus Christ isn’t yet evident. We have a profound belief that no one is ever to be left out of experiencing the love of God through Jesus.  On the ground, it means we act as nomadic, wandering leaders, agencies and churches.  We wander to the edge.  We go outside the camp.  As we do so, our minds change.  New connections are made in both the brain and the soul.  This causes us to see and feel things differently than those in the camp.

Jesus Christ, who inspires and leads all we do, was definitely outside the camp: 

He was born outside the normal human process.  This also resulted in a ‘outside the camp’ family vis-a-vis cultural expectations.  Jesus positioned Himself outside the camp of the religious system of the day.  Interestingly God Himself had instituted this system.  However that system had not only overdeveloped beyond God’s intentions,  but those in it failed to see what (Whom) it was actually pointing to.  There’s a lesson here for our current institution of the church.

Jesus was crucified outside the city.  Today, His followers are predominantly outside the camp of mainstream thought, morality & philosophy worldwide.  

Perhaps most profoundly, Jesus’ loves to walk with those who are considered outside the camp of the broader society.   The oppressed, the marginalized, the socially outcast, the struggling ‘foreigner’.

There’s good reason to be nomadic.  Perhaps you need to wander a bit from your own conventional thinking or well-established theology.  Let the Creator of ALL humankind make some new brain and soul connections.

Get out of where you are.  Go outside the comfy camp of your church or suburb or apartment. Do a walkabout.  See.  Smell.  Taste.  Touch.  Feel.  

“Not all who wander are lost”.  In fact, by doing so you may just find Him there, outside the camp.

Walking Broken With the Broken

There’s a pervasive patronizing, we-they, holier than thou, superiority complex that we ALL succumb to in relation to other people.  There is always someone worse off than we are, more inferior to us, or in some way 'less' than we are. If you choose to say this does not characterize you, then you are clearly blind and patently dishonest.

Canada’s recent coming-to-grips with its residential school past is a gross historical example of this characteristic in play.  However, that’s too big for many of us to relate to.  Let’s get closer to home.  Street level.

Around you are:

• people from another culture, perhaps a culture that brings up very negative emotions or beliefs for you 
• addicts – people who perhaps in your mind just can’t get it together 
• homeless & poor people who somehow lost their grip on life skills and the disciplines to ‘make it’ 
• those with a mental illness, who are not in touch with (your) reality 
• people trapped in or celebrating a lifestyle you fundamentally think is wrong 
• someone who hates your religion/faith or who just deeply questions everything

In some way, they are broken.  But so are you!  And this latter fact is the one most lost on us in relation to the rest of society. It affects our ability to identify, love and have compassion.

Somehow, we as Christians have come to believe that we have the solution to the world.  Of course it is true that surrender to and following the person of Jesus is the Solution.  He came to give us abundant and meaningful living both now and for eternity.  But in believing in that solution, we Christians often and unfortunately accompany it with a perverse and inaccurate sense that we are now whole.  Better than others.  That subtle lie implies the other person is not whole and therefore somehow is less than us.  It results in a patronizing attitude toward their 'needs'.  Worse, it breeds a judgemental spirit.

What if we were to take the more theologically accurate and very human perspective that we ourselves are broken and walk with the other in their brokenness?  We are saved by grace and not by anything we have done.  Daily we (well, maybe just me) struggle with elements of our brokenness. So in a sense we are both beggars looking for food.  Both sojourners looking for a destination.  Both imperfect people seeking wholeness.  Both humbly walking together knowing we need each other and are in need of the great Other.

 What might this do for us – the Church?

• It would release us from a BA (‘believers arrogance")
• It would make us more patient and accepting of the brokenness that is all around us 
•  It would make us more human 
• It would help us see that our walking with the broken is actually our calling 
• It would save us from classifying brokenness.  We are ALL broken and in need of healing and wholeness. (Have you ever noticed that the church has ‘white collar’ sins that don’t get the same focus and judgement as other sins??)

I am no saint in this.  It’s a fresh lesson I am learning as I walk with someone affected by addictions.  They are broken.  Other addicts are broken.  It has been so heartbreaking to watch.  BUT the process (AA) has brought me face to face with my own brokenness and need for the Saviours' grace and power to change.  One key to the recovery of these addicts is not judgement of their condition or rescuing them with the good intentions of money or promises or enabling actions, but the acceptance of others in the program who also admitted they were broken.  That created camaraderie, a fellowship, a common humanity.  They all know they struggle, and it created a context in which restoration could happen. 

Restoration and salvation occurs in a context of loving acceptance.   

 You will NEVER argue, browbeat or rationalize someone into faith in Jesus.  You certainly won’t by placing yourself above them.  But it just might happen if you come alongside, as a fellow broken human to demonstrate the hope you have in Jesus and the frailty you also possess as a human.

In the context of teaching a young leader to avoid the senselessness and the damage excessive wordiness and theological condescension will inflict, the apostle Paul (2 Timothy 2) went on to say to Timothy that he should:

• Stop trying to quarrel your way to helping someone believe 
• Be kind to everyone
• Be patient with difficult people 
• Teach gently & effectively because “perhaps” God will change their hearts

Did you get that last bullet?  “Perhaps”.  You see it isn’t up to us to change someone.  It’s up to God Himself.  Even then, there is no guarantee.  “Perhaps” God will change them.  Until that happens:

Walk as the broken with the broken

Demonstrate and describe the Saviour

Honour the  free choice of the person

Continue the walk no matter their choice..."Perhaps"

Surrender yourself and them to the will and power of God.

Walk as the broken with the broken

A Mad Blog

I don’t write blogs when I am mad.  But I am breaking that rule today.

Another kid died yesterday.  Had him in my home over the weekend.  A kid in recovery from drug abuse.  Full of life & dreams.  Gone.  Don’t yet know how he died.  But he’s dead anyway.

I have a family member in long-term drug treatment.  In just the last 4 weeks 3 young men who have been through the same treatment process have died.  That does not mean the program is a failure. In truth, the success rate is extremely high – but human nature tends to camp on the negative and neglect to see the overall picture.  However, the reality is it’s an insidious disease.  Addiction is a life long struggle.  A life and death one.  I have watched good kids on a strong path to healing, snap and be taken over by something even worse than the effects of their disease.  I have seen the demonic in this.  Not one to look for a demon in every bush, but I am one who knows there is an evil spiritual army only too ready and capable of manipulating human weakness.

But I angrily wrestle with something more than this. 

How many other diseases of the mind or the body, how many moral aberrations in human nature are either caused by or manipulated by satan?  It’s impossible to know and calculate.  But it is possible (and true) to acknowledge that it happens.  The world is truly messed up.  The sex trade, modern day slavery right under our noses, economic exploitation/greed, and political corruption are but a skimming of the surface of the insanity of humanity.  And what makes me mad is that the Christian community so often spends the majority of their efforts addressing the soft stuff, the white-collar problems of persons.  Especially in North America, we have indulged ourselves and created an entire industry of Christian consumption of products/programs to address things that keep us safe and happy in our homes, in our church buildings, IN OURSELVES.  We regularly fail to look out and around, roll up our sleeves, put on the rubber boots and wade into the shit that infects the human condition.  There’s no glory in that I guess.  Perhaps no commercial value or direct impact on the budget or congregational growth.  Maybe too much risk? 

Yeah, I am mad.

What is WRONG with us?  What is WRONG with me?  We as a community have developed a white collar, button-down culture of training and service that has influenced and produced the same kinds of Christian communities.  I am mad because I AM PART of that production line.  Harv Matchullis is not without participation and culpability in this.

Right now all I know is I am watching kids I know kill themselves.  Kids I talked to 24 hours ago.   Going to a support group and praying just isn’t going to cut it. 

This messed up world needs more from us. 

The Role of Luck and Servanthood

Some servants of Jesus just seem to be lucky.  They tell amazing stories of encounters with people who are transformed by Christ.  They lead or serve in flourishing ministries with real impact, not just window dressing.

 

We all want that kind of 'luck' (of course it's all for the Lord).

However our enthusiasm for getting things done for Christ has pushed us into spiritually un-natural space.  Current Christian culture presses us towards ministry success (whatever that is).  Just listen to and read the lingo used in our books, seminars and sermons:  Plan - Strategize - Vision - Dream - Execute - Seven Steps To... - Performance Reviews -  etc.  At times you'd think it was all about us and our effort.  We have so many fixed plans in place, its a wonder God gets anything done through us.

We speak the words: "Spirit Led".  We act the words: "It's up to us".

A test to measure the dependency we have on our planning & performance  is the reaction we have when the trajectory of ministry & service go contrary to our plans or anticipated outcomes, or the pathway of service we envisioned for ourselves doesn't pan out. At that point many of us argue with God or question our ability to hear Him.  Nothing wrong with that.  God can take our anger and arguing and questioning.  But it does reveal that we likely owned a bit too much of that plan in the first place.  Who is the servant here and who is the Master?  Here are some other questions to consider as a way to assess how open we are to listening to the leadings of the Master through His Spirit:

• when was the last time you followed a prompting and acted in the moment?
• when have you given up on a plan that once seemed right, but now the Spirit says "let it go"?
• when have you not acted  because there was no direction from the Spirit?
• how often have you stepped away from activity and into the action of rest & reflection (or did that cost too much time & lost productivity?)

I recently heard CBC Radio quote a Swahili proverb:  “I am not lucky.  I am just always on the move.”  My research is proving vain to verify this is actually a Swahili proverb. But whether it is their actual proverb or not, I like it!!  In fact I just may appropriate it as my proverb if this isn't really a Swahili one!

There is spiritual wisdom here.  We don’t just fall into significance or land on ministry impact by accident, luck or hard strategic work.  It happens because we are "always on the move" with the Spirit.  By practicing an active lifestyle of regular pausing to listen to the Spirit, & acting when we hear from Him, ONLY THEN can we find ourselves "lucky" to be in the flow of what He is accomplishing in this world.

Those who have history with me know I have been a restless dreamer, planner, strategic thinker and facilitator of dreams.  My current role as Executive Director of Encompass Partnerships is the result of years of planning and dreaming.  In the past 15 years I have facilitated 30+ planning sessions for teams and organizations around the world.  I am proud of that hard, strategic work.  Our Creator endorses and supports good planning and thinking ahead.  But as my world has been turned upside down these past few years and dreams & plans were swept up in a tsunami of crises, the Lord taught me a dance with the Spirit I never really entered into before. 

And its hard to explain to you.  No seven-step process.  Its training-by-life.

What I know is this.  As I choose to listen for and to the Spirit, as I choose to wait for His signals and promptings and as I act on His directions, not only does planning itself change, but so also does execution.  You see, ultimately it is His plan.  Not only is He involved in the plan-making, but by continual listening to Him during the execution we at times encounter re-directions of plans.  Doesn't scripture say something about being astounded because something is happening in our lifetime that we won't believe, even if it were described down to the smallest detail?  (Habakkuk 1:5).  Our plans can't predict or shape a future that is only in the hands of God. Only His hands shape that future, not our plans.

Encompass works with individuals, agencies and churches who are set on serving the margins of our society.  I speak to them, but also to any of you who have a vision or plan.  Has the Spirit stirred something up in you to take the gospel to the edges of our society?  Then get into the practice of always being on the move with the Spirit.  Run counter to even your own Christian culture and learn to stop, wait, listen & then respond. You will eventually be & do what He intended. 

Some may call you lucky or strategic or even visionary. 

The Spirit will call you faithful.