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Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Your Path Makes You


Many leaders live out of an illusion.

It’s an illusion that we can be the unconquerable masters of our fate and captains of our soul. This illusion has a deep root in the Western psyche, perhaps best captured in the 19th century poem Invictus by William Henley:

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.



In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.



Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.



It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

This ‘master of my fate’ life perspective is expressed in the notion of the ‘self-made man/woman’. It is regularly reinforced through the North American child-rearing mantra of: “you can be anything you want to be” and then echoed in adulthood via leadership gurus’ seminars and books. Just Google “you can be anything you want to be quotes” and you would think nothing can ever get in the way of our goals except our own level of belief in ourselves!

Reality check: No one is a self-made. No one finishes their life path the way they initially envisioned.

Truth check: You don’t make your path. Your path makes you.

This phrase "you don't make your path; your path makes you" came to me with particular power after a week of walking multiple paths along the Camino del Norte in August 2017. My experience in the previous 7 years was the crumbling of many of the best-laid plans for my own life and surprisingly, the successful accomplishment of some completely unplanned endeavours. These multiple events and circumstances created a zigzag pattern of experiences. I was reeling, wondering what to make of it all. I took a sabbatical for 3 months to try make sense of things, and this phrase popped up:    You don’t make your path. Your path makes you.

This isn't advocating giving up on dreaming and planning. It is about dealing with emerging reality and your ability to shift direction on the road to becoming resilient as a leader and person. Lets face it, plans get made, hopes are set high and then 'life' happens. Circumstances both within and outside our control determine the path we actually walk. In those moments, some things are demanded of you:

1. What CHOICE will you make? As I see it, there are 3 options. Accept, Refuse or Run. You have to determine in your circumstance what is called for. However, no matter your choice your path has already shifted to some degree.

2. What CHARACTER will you demonstrate? Your choice will call out your character. More important than the path you take is who you become as a result of your choice. Unplanned changes have a way of unearthing what is buried deep inside of us. A leaders' effectiveness derives more from character than skill, so pay close attention to what emerges!  Resilient leaders are not shaped by success so much as they are by challenge.

3. Will you accept the new CONDITIONS? This is the time for realism. Your circumstance and the new resulting path is what it is, so deal with it. The alternative is to keep living in your head and in a reality that does not exist! Acceptance doesn’t mean you must like the new path, but it does mean you receive it as a part of your new life. Only after acceptance can you begin to walk the new path with purpose and intention.

With great thought and planning I have designed many paths for my personal and leadership life, believing that I would become someone and accomplish something as I pursued the path. In all cases, I have experienced redirection and on occasion outright failure to arrive at my original destination. However, I am now the leader and person that I am not because I achieved my original plans, but because of who I have become in the process. I also believe that I am in my current position of leadership because of the character, interests and skills that have been shaped by my circumstances, because:

My path made me


Harv

“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9