The Passage

We all enter this passage. Until then, we peer at it, contemplate it, fear it.

Every one of us will observe people walking this way before we ever step foot on that path.  But when we do, it's a final walk.

I watched my father on this passage 44 years ago.  A painful walk.  Now I watch my mother.  Her journey is soon to end.

Death is so common. You would think that such a common experience among humanity would historically have elicited something different than grief. Since we ALL go through it and have done so during our entire history, would it not be more natural and sensible and evolutionary, to be more matter-of-fact about it? We are born, we live, we die. Repeat for every human. As far as losing someone, hey, there are plenty of human companions to take the place of one who walked that final passage.

Why is it then that we feel this gaping hole in our chest when we lose someone we love?  I can remember thinking for decades after my dads' death that perhaps he was just 'lost' and would walk through the door any moment.  What a bizarre hope.  Really I don't care what someone thinks. I am 60 and still miss him.  Now, it's my mother.  While my head understands the reality of death and in her case, the progression of cancer, my heart is being ripped open.

The reason death is ALWAYS so hard is because it was never designed into us.  I believe in a Divine Creator who made us for eternal life.  We were not made for death - and that is why death is so 'unnatural' to us. We grieve not just because of the loss of presence, we grieve because deep in our visceral soul, we face the most unnatural event of the human experience - its end.

You and I will walk this passage as my mother walks it now. It ends in death. No one escapes. But I say to you that there is another passage you can access on this side of life that will usher you back to the original plan of God.  The still living and very real Jesus Christ offers us a way of living that returns us to the original plan of God.

Talk to me if you want to know more.

For now, I'm helping my mom on the final part of her passage here.  And when she is done, she has a new passage to walk.  But it still hurts like hell.

Mysterious Faith Meets Real World

Have you read Sapiens by historian Yuval Harari? He subtitled his book: “A Brief History of Humankind”. How humble.  His is a pure humanist POV that views anything not originating from a biological imperative as a myth or an imagined reality, created to help keep some sense of order in a society.  My faith included.  Jesus & Christianity is merely a myth.

His arguments got me wondering about my faith.  As I pondered his theories of culture and religion, and then my reasons for following the Way of Jesus, I concluded that if I looked at all the religious & faith options available to me in the world,  I am actually not sure I would pick Christianity! How would I know which one was true?  Better to live by my own rules.

Yet I cannot escape faith and belief.  I have tried. 

Faith calls to me even in my doubt and when life makes no sense whatsoever.   My most profound encounter with this was when I lead an international church in Phnom Penh Cambodia in the 1990’s.  It was barely post-Khmer Rouge. The church was comprised mostly of relief and development workers. Every day they worked with a traumatized people.  Their MAIN issue week in and week out was:  “How could God have endured and allowed the pain and horror that the Khmer Rouge inflicted on these people?  Where was God?”. Christian platitudes from a pastor were not helpful in those moments.  I had to wrestle down the ‘why’ of my faith to its purest essence.

It’s such a messed up world isn’t it?  A hard one in which to maintain faith & hope in anything.  Evil threatens to break the dike built by human good and decency. The dike has so many holes in it there’s not enough of us to plug them.  So, why should I believe in a God who lets this world get so messed up? Why would I choose to plug the holes in the dike? Why not just pull away from it all and let it be?

So I ask myself, and you, “What or who, keeps you in the game of following Jesus”?

The only answer I have is that faith as a gift.  If it came down to being dependent on creating and sustaining personal reasons to remain engaged as a Christian, I would have given up long ago.  I have endured too much personal pain and have seen too much evil in my lifetime for that formula to keep me in the game.

The gift of faith does not and cannot come from within.  Someone gives it.  

If you and I have faith in Jesus it is because that is God’s gift.  It is a deep, often unexplainable confidence that keeps my eyes focused on God in the face of so much that rails against even the existence of a God. The Bible says that without faith, we can’t please God.  It’s also made clear we can’t work our way to God, therefore He gives us the faith we need to come close to Him.  And sometimes, like the manna the Israelites had to collect each morning, we too have to pick up our faith, enough for each day.

This is both a humbling and an astounding mystery, so counter-intuitive to the quid-pro-quo economy of the human mind. We have what we have been given.  No effort.  No status produced this.  Why some get the gift and others don’t is also a mystery, and will remain so because since it’s a gift, it’s up to the Giver.

If this gift of faith is an undeserved grace, is there any reason then to bother engaging this faith with the world?  Any reason for 'evangelism'?  Any purpose in passing on the faith? 

YES

Faith being a gift of God releases us from trying to convince others to take the gift.  It’s not ours to give.  We are released from placing heavy  ‘save the world’  burdens on ourselves and are freed instead to live according to our faith in a way that “will make the teaching of God our Saviour attractive” (Titus 2:10).  Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith we can’t possibly connect to God - and that to even receive faith you need to believe that He exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who are open to seek after Him.

So the BIG question is whether there is anything to convince others of a reason to believe that God even exists.  What would make the teaching of God our Saviour attractive?

That’s where love enters.  God is love.  If so, then where’s the love?

·       You can create the most articulate argument for God and belief, but if LOVE, the very essence of God is not evident, how will anyone even believe there is a gift-giving God?  However if a person sees and feels love, belief in a God is perhaps possible.  If the thought of a God who loves is possible, then seeking after that God is possible, and then the gift of faith is possible.

Faith is not in your control.  It’s a gift of God.

Love however, is in your control.  It’s a gift you can give.

Mourning Your Transitions

Have you mourned the things you left behind, left undone, or that left you?

Whether your transition is job loss, loss of a dream, inability to complete an important assignment, leaving something (someone) behind to obtain work or a dream or any other form of loss - have you mourned it?

I write this on my last day of "unemployment" after ending a ministry last January. Tomorrow, May 31st I fly to Toronto for 2 weeks to begin my new role as Director of Candidate Recruitment & Development for the C&MA in Canada. I will be based in Calgary but will be travelling a fair bit with this role. My responsibility is to oversee the processes that recruit and prepare the people who serve in international/cross cultural contexts.

It was not until a few days ago, in the midst of a final formal review to assess the leadership and organizational lessons learned during my time as leader of the ministry I left behind, that I finally grieved the loss.

I lamented
I mourned

I felt sorrow
And now I finally feel free to move on.

Up until this moment my processing has been a mix of 'suck it up and end well', of rationalization, disappointment & acceptance. Lot's of 'head stuff'. Only recently did my heart mourn the loss of what was. I discovered something in my 'lament' - that until you mourn, you cannot move on. The Lord truly met me in the 'mourning' and today I finally feel released to close the door on what was and open the new one as of tomorrow. I actually feel physically and emotionally lighter. I am now unchained from what I carried sub-consciously. Closing a door does not mean forgetting relationships, lessons or even pain, but it does release your spirit to move freely into what is next.

Whatever you are leaving behind in your transition, know this - while your heart mourns and you release the sorrow deep within, God will strengthen you to hold onto the good things done, experienced and learned. Then let the freedom gained via mourning reign, so you can move into what is next.

I leave you with this thought that has encouraged me as I think about what was and what could have been:

God carries on what I cannot. Rest in that and open the next door.

Harv

Landing the Career Plane

June 1 2019.  That's the day I start a new career.

I did not choose to make a career shift at age 60, but there I was.  I am generally quite positive and hopeful; a dreamer by nature, but quite frankly I found the prospect of finding a job at my age intimidating.  Ageism is out there and I had no idea if I would encounter it as I searched for employment.  Something else I encountered out there (or should I say 'in there'), are the limiting beliefs about age that you allow to rent space in your head.

Let me start off by stating that my age and experience were actually to my advantage in the role I just acquired. They honoured that and in fact it was part of their search parameters.  I am a fortunate man. 

During this process I discovered some things about myself and making a career decision at this age. 

First, I had to deal with the competing internal narratives of what I knew I could bring to the table because of accumulated life experience and knowledge VS. insecurities about my age.  This competing discourse was loudest when I sought roles outside my career field but within the scope of my experience.  At times I felt less confident than a new graduate (at least they have naivete on their side!).  In the end the answer was inside of me.  I had to put on my big boy pants and get out there. 

Secondly, this thing about finding 'passion' and excitement in your career, while it rang true in my earlier career shifts, wasn't factoring prominently in this decision making process.  People I involved in the process would sometimes ask me: "Harv - are you excited about this potential role"?  My honest response was: "I'm not sure yet".  This lack of excitement actually had me worried that perhaps this wasn't the job for me after all.  Yet everything I knew & learned about the role and its' possibilities made it an excellent fit.  My mentors and advisors strongly affirmed me.  My mind was 100% there.  So, where was my heart? Where was this 'passion' thing?

I liken the experience of career decision making at this age vs. earlier decades as the difference between an aircraft take-off and landing.  In your earlier years, you are the pilot of your own career.  When you take off (numerous times for most of us) you have a wide open sky in front of you.  The possibilities, while not endless are exciting. Yes, you have a flight plan, but as conditions change you can shift.  There is time in your life and space in your career trajectory for course corrections.  However, now at age 60 I was thinking more like this:

"I'm about to land this plane. There's one runway.  Is this the runway where I want to land my life experience?"

The reality of your 'career age' changes the way you make decisions.  Sure, passion is a part of it, but now you are more contemplative, reflective and wise precisely because of your age.  Decisions are less about self-fulfillment and more about legacy, succession and finding a place where you can build into the best system or foundation for whomever comes next behind you.

A final word on this thing about 'passion' & finding self-fulfillment in our careers.  That is a luxury the majority of this world cannot afford.  For most, work is a function of survival, not fulfillment.  That I have work at all is a blessing.  That I get to do something I love and that will contribute is a profound privilege.

WIFM Radio – your Transition Station

If you are in a career transition (as I am currently), tune in to WIFM.

Millennials get a bad rap for always listening to this station. However there are times where you should dial into this frequency. 

During the recruitment and interview process employers play their favourite stations. Songs about performance expectations, previous relevant experience, and the favourite country tune: “Tell me about a time when…”. Now is the time for you to play the songs from WIFM: "What's In It For Me?"

As I pursue my next vocation and encounter the recruitment processes of various organizations, the words of Dr. Nancy Adler come to mind: 

"Organizations that believe people can change emphasize training and development whereas organizations that believe people are incapable of change emphasize selection systems".   (International Dimensions of Organizational Behavior - 2008)

Getting the right answer to “What’s in it for me?” will let you know if you would be:

• Participant in a learning organization, or...

• Employee # __ in an organization that prefers status quo. 

If you want to determine whether the organization is one that will develop your skills and potential, below are some things to look for when you are in the process. Make the effort to interview the organization just as they are interviewing you. You could formulate questions to pose when you are in the interview, but it will likely take some personal effort beyond that by speaking to current/former employees and searching their website for any clues pointing to a learning and development culture. 

Here are some suggestions for how to assess the answer to “What’s in it for me?” 

How does the organization provide for ongoing learning and development?

• Is there a policy, budget, expectation or a track record of time provided for ongoing learning?
• Google their staff. Do they publish? Are they present at industry events as a participant or a presenter? 

How does this organization know you are performing well? 

Are there performance reviews? If so, how are they conducted? Here are 3 approaches I have encountered and my take on their usefulness:

• The formal review where you are evaluated to a set of objectives laid out 6 or 12 months prior. Be cautious here – in what universe would you want to be evaluated TODAY on an issue that occurred many months ago? Unless their process has some type of ongoing, real-time adjustment to it, it’s a ‘check off the box’ exercise AND does not see you as a person-in-process.
• The regular ‘check-in’. This may be accomplished via regularly scheduled meetings, or the informal drop-in/walkabout approach. These can be very valuable because they are real-time assessments - as long as they are a ‘check-in’ and not a ‘check-up’. The former approach is about how you are performing and discovering what you need to succeed. The latter is simply to know if you are performing to expectation. 
• The DIY. Basically there is no performance review. Any advancement in competence or skill development is self-regulated. On the surface this sounds awesome. No accountability! High trust! Freedom! Long leash! However, the dark underbelly here is that when you are left to assess yourself, you tend to over-rate your competencies and lack the objectivity needed to assess areas for personal growth. 

What are the signs that this organization has a learning culture? 

• What was their last failure and what did they do with it? (ignore, suck it up and move on, meet for a post-mortem to assess learnings…)
• When they meet as teams, what is a typical agenda? Find out if this is an assessment culture or a task-list culture. 

You can go to work, or you can go to build & contribute to this world. 

Once you have made your choice, then interview the organization to find your fit. 

If you have other suggestions that would help a person tune into WIFM, please leave a post below. 

Love & Vocation

Age & employment transition make interesting bedfellows.  They talk a lot to each other.  The pillow talk I hear is very intimate and reflective.

At 60, I am nowhere near done vocationally and believe I am entering my best years.  I’m not employed at the moment, so am in the process of seeking a context for my next best contribution.  In this liminal space I am reflecting on who I want to be in the next phase  One recent reflection was prompted by re-reading a classic Bible passage I have often quoted and then just as easily gloss over because of its’ familiarity.

What struck me in a fresh way as it applies to vocation, is how the passage juxtaposes the things we do alongside the context or atmosphere in which we do them.  I summarize the passage, 1 Corinthians 13, in this way:

“If whatever you do to contribute to this world isn’t done with love as the key component, what you have done is either just noise or it will amount to nothing.”

No matter your age, that should cause you to stand up and take notice of the way you approach work and life. Imagining myself in the next phase I ask: ”HOW will I show up”?  

Reflect with me:   

• At the end of life, what is of greater importance: a personal legacy of love or accomplishment?
• How would the workplace change if you expressed respect & love in tandem with advancing your goals?
• What does it do to yours and others’ quality of life when you focus on personal/professional achievement at the expense of relationship?
• How could you express love in a way that would make our on-line and face to face world a safer environment?

The key question to answer here is: What is love?  To start, here is how the Creator-God describes it in the passage I referenced above.  As you read this and begin to imagine the impact of its application in our current society, what’s your take on its’ impact on the atmosphere of human relationships?

Love is large and incredibly patient. 

Love is gentle and consistently kind to all.

It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else.

Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. 

Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. 

Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. 

Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. 

Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. 

Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. 

Love never stops loving.

The world desperately needs a new atmosphere – of love. 

We are choking in cynicism, competition, selfishness and hate. 

Be part of clearing the air.

Harv Matchullis - in Transition

Trickle Down Holiness Theory

Within some Christian circles there is a 'trend' towards a deeper experience of Jesus, of holiness and renewal. In their world, conferences & seminars, websites, resources, book recommendations etc. are predominantly geared toward going deeper with Christ. It's hard to find as much emphasis on going deeper with the world and loving our nieghbour. Ironic, because the entire law of God is summed up in whether you show love for your nieghbour (Gal 5:14, Rom 13: 9-10 etc).

This 'holiness trend' has a relationship to economic 'trickle down' theory, believing that as right theology and experience of the holy is poured in, right living will result. Economic trickle down theory is a failure. There's little proof it works for discipleship.

It is in the loving of our neighbour we truly meet Jesus (Matt 25). If you want renewal and a deeper life with God, first go meet your neighbour. 

Jesus waits for you there.

The Dangerous Game of Leaving a Legacy

Leadership writing and culture is laced with the pursuit of "legacy".

I have taught it, I have lived pursuing it, and I have paid for it.

For me personally, this topic is very fresh because soon I will be concluding a ministry I founded.  During this ministry-building journey I burned out in my pursuit to 'press on' and make it a legacy-making endeavor.  I blogged about this here.

Of course let's be real -  there are people we know and recognize who leave legacies that ripple across history.  I think of Paul the apostle.  His actions, the records of his pursuits & his personal writings left impact that continues to shape the world.  Amazing.  But lets be real again.  For the vast majority of us there will be no record of our contributions and no universally acknowledged legacy.  We move about in simple faithfulness, our contributions known perhaps to a small circle, and to God most certainly.

How do you feel about being mostly unknown to the world?

The answer to that question is found in shifting to a new perspective on 'legacy'.  Stop pursuing efforts so that you will be remembered.  Think about this...it is through the largely unrecorded and unnoticed faithfulness of Gods' people that the world is changed and the Kingdom of God expands. There was only one Paul.  He didn't build the Church we see today.  God did, through billions of other followers of Jesus all through history.  They were mostly obscure and unknown , but in the hands of the Master, their 'legacy' is a global Kingdom that now permeates the planet.

I now feel this battle between legacy and obscurity more acutely now that I am about to conclude my ministry.  In the past it was a hope of mine (no, it was a driver) to "leave a legacy".  Admirable in some sense, but I have learned it is a dangerous pursuit.

Living to leave a "legacy" can be a pseudo-spiritual cover for the dangerous game of self ambition. Living for the "well done" shifts perspective and posture to that of a servant.

An important question to ask for all who follow Jesus is: Who determines legacy?  If it is you, then you better work your ass off and sacrifice everything in the pursuit of that goal.  However, if you truly believe that the Kingdom of God is actually Gods' and is therefore built according to His plans, then there is only One who determines the legacy.

Don't work to leave a legacy.  The brutal truth is that 50 years from now the world and even your family who are still alive won't remember much about you.  But God will leave a legacy through your faithfulness to whatever you put your hand to as His servant.

There is a sense of liberation that comes when you stop striving to leave a legacy.  That enables you to do something, and to do it very well.

Work for the 'well done'.

Harv Matchullis