Another Goodbye

We have an expat daughter.   It isn’t easy.

As former expats ourselves, we committed early in our lives to give our children the gift of Roots & Wings.  We would root them in a foundation of family and a love for the world, and then let them know they had wings to pursue life according to their dreams no matter where it took them.  We knew that gift held the potential and inevitability of many a goodbye.  

There was another goodbye today.

You get used to this...and you don't.

Part of me wants to never say goodbye to my kids – especially to my daughters.  Sorry boys - it’s a dad thing.  Yet I have come to know as a parent that an unwillingness to say goodbye is to suppress the dreams and callings of our children. (It is even a way of holding back a parent who needs to move on to pursue a dream).  It is a selfish act to cling, to make it known overtly or passively that the others’ leaving somehow diminishes loyalty and relationship.  On the contrary, the act of leaving enhances the life of your child – and yours by extension.  By leaving, and being blessed to leave, a child is freed to fully pursue their created self.  As a result, they not only find the joy of being themselves, but also a deeper richness from the personal/spiritual growth ‘being themselves’ will bring.

Roots & Wings. A relational breathing in and breathing out.  In my view it’s as necessary for life as is oxygen.

God promises that someday we will all be gathered. No more tearful goodbyes. That promise feels so good right now, as I reflect on just saying goodbye to my daughter at the airport. Yet for now and for the sake of a world that needs people such as my children to live out who they are, wherever that takes them – so be it.  God knows where their wings need to take them and where their lives need to take root.  

Give your kids roots in love, meaning and relationship.  Also gift them wings to fly away with the knowledge those roots provide them the courage & confidence needed to bring life and renewal to a tired world. 

Roots and Wings. These are the gifts of love to our children. 

Go ahead now, hold them close.  Then let them go.