The Royal Navy’s seamanship manual from 1904 describes kedging as a means for maneuvering large engineless ships in and out of tight harbours and tidal river entrances. Historically it has also been (and still is) a method for sailors whose vessels are being pulled by tides or winds towards destructive shores or reefs.
Here is how kedging works. A team of sailors take one of the ship’s anchors and ensure it is attached to lots of rope or cable. They place it in a small boat and row it out in the direction they want move the ship. They would drop the anchor when they ran out of rope/cable, return to the ship and proceed to pull the ship up to the anchor’s location. Repeat.
It is a slow, hard process.
On occasion kedging was the difference between life and destruction. If strong winds, tides or currents were pulling a ship in a direction that was going to ground or destroy it, or if the ship was otherwise disabled, you had to kedge to save yourself.
I am kedging to save myself, because the tides are taking me into the rocks.
For those who have been reading my blogs, those written in the past 4 years have held hints that this period has not exactly been the pinnacle of peace in my career or life experience. Much pain, confusion, & questioning. I have still managed to work, be creative and (I think) visionary. Nevertheless, something has happened in those 4 years. I've pulled anchor and have drifted. The anchors that served to root my life, such as physical disciplines, rituals around how I approach my work, and the relationships that sustain me, have been pulled up into the boat. Ironically, my faith anchor is the only one in the water. But as the Scriptures say – faith without works is dead. And I am heading for death.
Maybe ‘heading for death’ is too melodramatic? Not really. There is a ring of truth to it. When you faithfully do your job as I have, but in other areas of life you let go of the rituals and disciplines that give life to you, you are really dying. Dead while alive. I found my 'life' was comprised of only instinctual responses. But usually our instincts (mine anyway) tend toward laziness, selfishness and whatever feels good to you at the time.
This is when it is time to kedge to save your life. How do landlubbers like us, kedge to save our lives?
Acknowledge you are adrift. Wish I could give you the Three Threats or Seven Signs checklists that would clearly indicate your life is adrift. It’s never that cut and dried. I suspect that for most, there is an intuitive sense that above all else, we have lost something of ourselves. Something that was once there is missing or depleted. What once brought joy and anticipation is lost to us. The ability (even desire) to look ahead in hope is diminished.Stop the Excuses. Excuses are legion. We have an incredible capacity for self-delusion and rationalization. One of the most insidious excuses is: “Well, this is just the way I am”. That is both true and false. History writes us, but we also write history. Genetics, nurture, context and a host of other factors have shaped your historical story. Yet you have an incredible capacity as a human being to also write your own history. You can choose.
Tell someone. The attempts to change that are conducted in isolation are, frankly, doomed to fail. Those self-deluded rationalizations are like the proverbial devil on your shoulder. They will always be there to whisper, to keep you from the changes needed to keep your life from hitting the rocks. You need some other, more positive and supportive voices on your shoulders to counterbalance and overwhelm the negative self-talk.
Identify the anchors you need. Of course, our society has self-help anchors galore to sell you via DVD’s, books, seminars, etc. It is tempting to believe these off the shelf products will do the trick. It would be so much easier. However only you really know what you need and what will work. IF you will take time to identify them, they will be the anchors that will hold and actually get you to safety.
Start pulling for your life. There is common wisdom out there about creating change. What I say here is no different:
- Retreat & Rest – Pull away, walk away, drive away, and get away. Get out of the dirty water in the fishbowl. You cannot see clearly from there because you don’t even know the environment you are in is clouded. Find a place of contrast, but also of rest. Brain science supports that when we change environments, it helps us become more creative and make connections we otherwise might not make.
- Realistic Future– Just be honest and ask yourself one key question: If I did nothing about this, who will I be in 3 years?
- Ritual – Kedging means you have taken an anchor, placed it out farther from where you currently are and then you start pulling toward it. Create some rituals to ensure that happens. So, a few simple yet profound observations:
- What are the specific anchors you need to help save yourself (physical, relational, spiritual, emotional etc.)?
- What will you do to start pulling your life toward them? This is the plan/ritual part of the equation. Intentions change no one. Rituals/Disciplines/Plans do.
