My Lovers' Quarrel

2024.  A new year.  We aim for change, but the reality is it’s hard to accomplish.

40 years ago, I started working in the institutional church.  I began as an eager and naive participant. Then experience and reflection caused me to question my assumptions.  I sought new insights and perspectives, which in turn led me to advocate for change.  It’s a relationship in which I have remained engaged for 40 years, working in various positions as an ‘intrapreneur’ attempting to inspire and lead change.  However, it’s not been an easy relationship. In fact I have had an ongoing “lover’s quarrel” with the institutional church.

I write this on January 1, 2024.  A day for contemplating change.  As I started with some reflection time, I read from a meditation I frequently use. The Lectio 365 reflection for this New Years Day ended up reigniting my lover’s quarrel.  Lectio's choice of words to characterize what mission advance means, elevated the ‘full time’ Christian worker, and by default undermined the majority of those who comprise the church.  It was inadvertent, I am sure.  But that’s a symptom of institutionalization, and the reason for my quarrel with it.  The institutional structure depends on the elevation and prioritization of certain roles & gifts because without them it could not sustain its purpose as an institution, nor it’s funding.  Its recruitment, training, and polity by default advance the class of people that are required to sustain the system.  This perpetuates a cycle of self preservation.  I have discovered as an internal change-agent that although this institutional system has the ability to change itself, its very existence is threatened by the change it seeks/needs.  A paralyzing irony.

Transitioning to the often-cited models espousing less structure and reduced dependence on a clergy class, so as to become a more scattered, organic and neighbourhood/marketplace model of existence, is often endorsed in the rhetoric and even strategic initiatives of church institutions.  However, this frequently falls flat during any attempt at execution.  Change is hard.  Execution is harder.  In the past 10 years I’ve led 3 change initiatives, all endorsed and funded by my denomination, that have either been closed or reduced to token, status-quo existence because of the relentless pressures of institutional thinking and demands.

I am not anti-institution, but I have a quarrel with it.  I stayed in it for 40 years advocating for and leading change until recently when I was released due to institutional budget pressures.  I still have hope that the church-as-institution might be courageous enough to change itself.  Where that isn’t feasible, at least be a sponsor/incubator of initiatives that eventually live and grow external to it.  In other words, be magnanimous and empower/cheer on what it can’t accomplish.  However, I no longer think that is possible for my denomination, nor for others. Whatever is now being birthed that is truly new and able to engage culture as effective Kingdom ambassadors, is for the most part coming from outside the institution of the church.  They are often small and scattered initiatives.  Most likely they will never gain the size, status or collective energy typical of the institution.  There is a part of me that wishes they could.  But then I suspect they would suffer the fate of the very institutions they were trying to influence and reform.

This is an historic tug of war.  A pattern that I believe is a divine check and balance to save the church from itself.  

The 5 core APEST gifts (see endnote) that are meant to simultaneously energize the church and keep it in dynamic tension, too often fall prey to their own competing values.  Rarely are they able to perform together in their natural state of tension.  Our humanity ensures that stalemate. Human nature leads us to prefer stability, captured in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.  It’s how our brains work – which is why it is hard to change in the first place.  Logically then it’s how we work in collective community, such as in politics, clubs, associations and of course, the church.  Once we have established a measure of personal or collective stability, our preference is to remain there – whether it works for us or not! But change and growth comes from tension.  That tension in the institutional church’s context is the push-pull, the in-out breathing rhythm of the APEST gifts.  Their interplay is necessary to ensure a Christian community retains and displays the dynamic necessary to ensure true impact.  This isn’t happening.  Safety, security, and tolerance for incremental change dominates the institutional church psyche and strategy.

Here is where I part ways with many of my peers.  The church as we know it is not the hope of the world. Christ, the dynamic of that community, is the Hope of the world.  Let’s not confuse the institution of the church with the Community of Christ as some do.  They are not intrinsically identical.

I repeat - The church as institution is not the hope of the world.  Christ is.  Christ living and working through His people is the basis for how we are to organize and act.  The challenge has been, and is, that the institutional needs of the church really drive their agendas for change.  Choices around strategy, personnel or budgets are made in reference to its long-term survival or viability.  Let’s just be real here: rarely is a decision made that fundamentally re-shapes the posture and structure of the church, because its hard for insiders to be change-makers due to the existential threat to their own role, status and employment.  The usual outcome of a ‘what’s next’ vision discussion is a tweak that is trumpeted as innovation.  Tweaks can be communicated with bold rhetoric.  If a bold strategy is launched, I have seen how the cost is often experienced as too heavy to sustain.  The attempt withers.  The system is sustained.

My conclusion is that the church as institution won’t change to the extent needed for significant, relevant impact on this current world because it is incapable.  To reorganize away from institution to be a collective community of ambassadors of Christ, each empowered to build the Kingdom of God, is too threatening to existing livelihoods, missiology and ecclesiology.  As has been the case through history, change happens predominantly outside the institutional form. Some change agents may remain connected as though in orbit – still within the gravitational pull of the institution.  I’ve taken that route so far.  Others leave the pull of institutional gravity entirely.

I have my point of view.  You’ve read it here and in other of my blogs.  Yet the great hope I hold is that Christ works in and through all our imperfect organizational creations.  I truly wish the institutional system could change.  I dedicated the bulk of my career to that end.  I have seen some advances but also many disappointments.  My hope for its’ transmogrification is significantly diminished.  However, my hope lies in the universal Christ who is working through His community all around this world.  Those change agents/ambassadors are inside and outside the institution of the church.  Christ is ensuring that His ways are being advanced to bless and to change individuals and communities around the world.

So, let’s keep living and acting in hope.

Harv

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APEST = Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Shepherd, Teacher.  Based on Ephesians 4 and popularized as a framework by Alan Hirsch in his book The Forgotten Ways.

Advent and Starfish

The in between.

Irrespective of our faith, humans often live in an ‘advent space’, anticipating the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event. For Christians around the world, now is the season of Advent. They remember the first coming (advent) of Christ, and remind themselves that they live in the ‘in between’ of that first event and Christ’s’ promised second coming. 

We all live the in-between:

• In between dreams and reality
• In between expectation and present circumstance 
• In between promises and fulfillment 
• In between hope and despair 
• In between careers (as I am now)
  

Currently global conflict and political rivalries have many of us living in-between our hopes for humanity and the brutal reality of ego, power, selfishness and outright hate. We hope and perhaps even pray, for peace. We protest and pressure politicians. Our desperate wish is that our leaders would lead change; would see fit to reconstitute the systems that support injustice and lead to conflict. Yet it seems so rare that this happens.

So, what are the options? Do we abandon our hope?

The best and most immediate path to change lies in ME. I may not hold political sway, but I hold sway around me. You and I as individuals are the ones who can, in the face of human need, show up with grace, mercy, love. We live in the trenches, in the street and the neighbourhood where needs are seen and experienced. While our individual actions will not necessarily change policy or the political process, they are immediately felt by the receiver. By the one.

But in a world of crushing need, is any effort worth the one?

It's like that old starfish story. A young child is walking on the beach. The tide is out. Hundreds of starfish are stranded on the sand and rocks, exposed to the sun and to predators. She’s concerned for those starfish, so starts picking them up and throwing them back into the ocean. Someone sees the futility of this effort and gets her to look up an see all the starfish on the beach and says “Look, there are so many of them. What possible difference can you make?” That child picked up a starfish, threw it into the ocean and said “It made a difference to that one”.


When we are confronted with the vast expanse of global issues, or within our own local communities, it is often overwhelming. The tide is out. It’s way out. People are stranded and exposed to crushing systems, indifference, and lack of courageous and principled political leadership. Many voices, including our own, say there’s no use trying. “What possible difference can you make?” It’s too big a task. Leave it to charities, non-profits or government. The system is too entrenched for your personal efforts to make a difference anyway. So, take care of yourself. Don’t vote. Don’t get involved. Don’t step in. Throw a few bucks to a charity. Then don’t forget to post your anger and indignation on social media.

But what if you could make a difference to one?

What if the one who showed up to address a need became a hundred?

What if those hundreds became millions?

This seems inspiring. Good fodder for a charity’s commercial or a sermon! But frankly there’s simply no guarantee your act of good will be repeated by others. How would you even know? Who is keeping count? You can’t control the math.

But that’s not the point. The point is to show up. Sleeves rolled up.

Yes, you can pray for leaders to lead. Yes, you can pray and/or protest for systems to change. Yes you can vote and hope for the best.  Yes, do those things and more - but don’t wait around for the answer. The small, repeated and real-time demonstrations of love and grace to fellow human beings will do more for a person now, in their time of need, than praying and waiting for miracle to happen.

For Christians, the point of the Advent season is not to be ‘hopeful’ about a second coming as though hope was a feeling. To hope is to act with that future in mind. To build a world that represents the wishes and ways of the One who is coming again.

For all of us in the human family, our hopes for an equitable and peaceful world are worthy. Worthy of action that starts with one small act. 

 

So, pick up a starfish. It’s an advent act.

The World is Too Loud

I am emerging out of a period of blogging silence.  For the last while I have been in an unplanned, unforced season of quiet. Some of that was due to my waiting for personal clarity on aspects of my vocational and spiritual life.  I was reflective, but just couldn’t write it down for some reason. Sometimes, it’s just good to be silent and sit – especially for those of us who like to comment on things, stir the pot, and challenge conventions.

It’s a pretty loud world out there. The planet is a cacophony of crises.  There’s constant competition for minds, hearts and money.  How about the loud cheering from the opposite poles of political ideologies?   I have tinnitus – but these sounds are even more annoying!

There’s another noise that aggravates me.

I am a follower of the Jesus Way, desiring to reflect and demonstrate how His way of life makes us more authentically human, and our world a healthier, more abundant place.  Yet the noise around Christianity-as-religion largely drowns out that message.  When I try to put myself in the place of an outside observer looking into whether Christianity ‘works’ or not, I don’t think I’d join up.  Public expressions of my faith/religion are too often issue-based, politically motivated and sometimes just outright hateful and exclusive. There’s a definite leaning toward ‘otherness’ rather than embrace, towards pointing out the darkness rather than shining a light into it, and towards outreach/mission to the world rather than a participating in and with the world to make it a better place.

Now in the US (and it’s bleeding into Canada), there is an unabashed political movement toward Christian nationalism that completely bypasses the Grand Story of God for humanity & the planet.  It is co-opting Christianity as a political platform for narrow and often distinctly un-Christ like ends.  The noise is deafening.

So what do we do – send out a louder, more positive message to counteract all this?? 

There’s a more powerful, more quiet way.   It’s Jesus’ way, and is more silent that you may have been led to believe if you are listening to public Christian rhetoric.  Jesus the Christ isn’t competing to be heard.  He is silently, quietly and powerfully present (in and through us as His representatives), to bring hope and change.  He brings justice and abundance to the world without raising His voice, without loud speeches & demonstrations.  Rather, He demonstrates persistent acts of gentle love and justice.  In a passage in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 12, verses 14-21, Jesus is described as one who is not quarrelsome, and whose voice is not heard yelling in the streets! He is one who will carefully handle a broken reed so that it isn’t further damaged, and will keep a smoldering wick going so its light doesn’t burn out.  This is a gentle, silent and truly transformative power, and we are to act in this Way.

I am a fan of Robert Service’s poem The Call of the Wild because it ‘places’ us humans in the context of Creation so that we humble ourselves in its magnificence.  One line in particular applies to what I have been saying here, and has implications for how real change happens in this world.  Change for the good is not ultimately reliant on government programs, grand social contracts & movements, public or private initiatives or religious efforts.  These are all helpful, but it’s “The simple things, the true things, the silent men (and women) who do things…” that is the unseen, underlying power for transformation.

Be quietly UN-noticeable.  It will truly change the world.

Harv Matchullis

You're not gonna change the world

Not everyone needs to read this, but you know who you are if you do. 

• You think about the state of the world, often.  It bears down hard on your mind, heart and soul.
• You cry out to God, to politicians, to your organization, to the court room of your mind for justice and equity, and change and peace. 
  
• You often feel that "If only we could get this initiative up and running" or "If we just redesigned this process or system, we could upset the order of things and make a real difference".
• You regularly ask "Why?" and "Why not?".
  

You want to change the WORLD. But you can't.  Hear me out. 

A world changing perspective can sometimes...

• ...place too much emphasis on you and your vision.
• ...remove you from the truth (and trust) that only God is sovereign to change the world.  Only He can bring his Kingdom to earth.  
• ...cause a lot of grief in your own soul (anxiousness, driven-ness) because you believe the change depends on you.
• ...can cause you to motivate by shame and guilt when people don't 'get with the program'.
  
• ...turn you into an activist who makes claims on God, and for God that He doesn't subscribe to in order to advance your vision.  (God far too often ends up with a bad rap in the world, and it's not His fault. Tragically in the over-zealous effort to advance the Kingdom of God we can turn the world away from ever wanting what we put out there on offer)
  

Global and societal change rarely comes through any single individual or organizations' efforts. I can barely change my own eating habits, let alone my organization. How will my idea ever change the world?  Answer:  It won't and I can't.  The sooner I get to that conclusion and rest in another reality, the greater my impact can actually be.  

 

Ironically we will have more impact on the world when we let go of our sense of importance and power to change it and grab hold of this truth:

The Creator God is the only One with the power to transform this world into His Kingdom 

Unless we believe that God is actively at work in individuals and groups to do what He has set out to do, we will forever be wrapped up in our angst over what to do and how to do it.  What often happens is we (especially us dreamers), often miss the forest for the trees.  Our superpower may be as "Tomorrow-Man/Woman", but we miss the opportunity to live and act in today, to act locally, and to trust that the 'daily bread' Jesus taught us to ask for, is in the end all we really need.

So, take whatever He gives you in this day and embrace it: the person you meet, the opportunity you have, the thoughts and prayers that come across your mind.  Those acts are enough to change the world. 

God's wonderful Kingdom is happening. He is making it come into being, not you.  So each day be content and happy to take what He gives you and simply play your part.  

The world will change.

Leaderships' Appetite for the Past

Leaders are about the future, right?  Well, don't be surprised that they often have a strong appetite for the past.

I'm observing a 'leeks and onions' moment among Christian leadership during this pandemic.  After the initial major adjustments to deliver services online there was a lot of discussion and even excitement around this being a 'moment' to re-think and reconfigure the very nature and mission of the Christian community (read: church).  Vision & dreaming was flourishing.

Now, note the conversations.  Seems those visions & dreams are now morphing into a focus on returning to normal.  This is where leadership energy is now predominantly focused.  Looking in the rear-view mirror to the leeks and onions of the past are proving too tempting.

The context for my 'leeks and onions' reference is clear to most Christian leaders.  But let me review:  When God lead an entire national community (Israel) out of their slavery in Egypt for a promised new existence, among leaders and followers there was the usual excitement, fear and uncertainty that accompanies change.   Then came the long haul process of actually getting to the new thing.  That's where things started to break down.  (We all love the rhetoric of change.  It's the execution that kills us!).  It was tough.  It was boring. It was tedious.  Kind of like our pandemic existence.  The people started hankering for what was: "We remember the fish we used to eat for free in Egypt. And we had all the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic we wanted.". (Book of Numbers 11:5)

When challenge came on the way to the future, and it wasn't yet clear what that future would look like, the default human reaction was to not only to reminisce, but to long for a re-creation of the past.

Most of what I read lately from church leaders are plans and promises for how to return to gathering. Gone are references to previous visioning & discussions that the pandemic was an unprecedented opportunity to re-shape the Church.  Now its really about how to get back to what we were.

Leaders - are you about preserving what was or persevering into the future?  Show yourself.  Lead or follow. 

It's a leeks and onions moment.

The Dissipation of the Congregation

It’s an (unfortunate) axiom that organizational change largely occurs when chaos is introduced into the system.  That can occur either externally (read: Covid-19) or internally via bold decisions by leadership to introduce the chaos that creates the conditions for change.

Had a chat with some church leaders the other day about their thoughts on how the current chaos is impacting leadership thinking on future changes to church life.  The conversation was around the opportunity to shift away from pastoral staff functioning to ‘fill gaps’ in a centrally defined system of ministry programming, to releasing people into what they are gifted to be & do. 

The pandemic-forced dissipation & scattering of the congregation is causing an opportunity to re-think the ministry & staffing approach of churches.

I see the shift in thinking progressing like this:

• If indeed there is a priesthood of all believers,
• If indeed ALL are gifted in a way that builds the Kingdom of God and the Church (the Body not the corporation),
• If indeed the role of church leadership is to ‘equip the saints for the work of service’ to which they are called by virtue of the gifts God Himself has given them,

THEN…church staff & leaderships’ role changes FROM program and vision-casters/managers TO net-workers, brokers & trainers.  The agenda of the church moves away from being centrally defined & becomes clear ONLY as its members gifts are known, developed and released to be expressed.

Implications:

• It will be messy for staff.  Some won't make it.  Some will need re-training of mindset and skills. But it might make them feel like they are finally developing others rather than slotting them into positions.
• Corporate expression will have a dynamic & messy element to it.
• Christians just may be more involved with each other and in their communities, as they find the joy & freedom of serving according to their giftedness.
• Christian consumers who demand programming to satisfy their kids or their religiosity won’t like it and will leave (that’s a blessing). 

Carpe Chao

(Seize the Chaos)

Mysterious Faith Meets Real World

Have you read Sapiens by historian Yuval Harari? He subtitled his book: “A Brief History of Humankind”. How humble.  His is a pure humanist POV that views anything not originating from a biological imperative as a myth or an imagined reality, created to help keep some sense of order in a society.  My faith included.  Jesus & Christianity is merely a myth.

His arguments got me wondering about my faith.  As I pondered his theories of culture and religion, and then my reasons for following the Way of Jesus, I concluded that if I looked at all the religious & faith options available to me in the world,  I am actually not sure I would pick Christianity! How would I know which one was true?  Better to live by my own rules.

Yet I cannot escape faith and belief.  I have tried. 

Faith calls to me even in my doubt and when life makes no sense whatsoever.   My most profound encounter with this was when I lead an international church in Phnom Penh Cambodia in the 1990’s.  It was barely post-Khmer Rouge. The church was comprised mostly of relief and development workers. Every day they worked with a traumatized people.  Their MAIN issue week in and week out was:  “How could God have endured and allowed the pain and horror that the Khmer Rouge inflicted on these people?  Where was God?”. Christian platitudes from a pastor were not helpful in those moments.  I had to wrestle down the ‘why’ of my faith to its purest essence.

It’s such a messed up world isn’t it?  A hard one in which to maintain faith & hope in anything.  Evil threatens to break the dike built by human good and decency. The dike has so many holes in it there’s not enough of us to plug them.  So, why should I believe in a God who lets this world get so messed up? Why would I choose to plug the holes in the dike? Why not just pull away from it all and let it be?

So I ask myself, and you, “What or who, keeps you in the game of following Jesus”?

The only answer I have is that faith as a gift.  If it came down to being dependent on creating and sustaining personal reasons to remain engaged as a Christian, I would have given up long ago.  I have endured too much personal pain and have seen too much evil in my lifetime for that formula to keep me in the game.

The gift of faith does not and cannot come from within.  Someone gives it.  

If you and I have faith in Jesus it is because that is God’s gift.  It is a deep, often unexplainable confidence that keeps my eyes focused on God in the face of so much that rails against even the existence of a God. The Bible says that without faith, we can’t please God.  It’s also made clear we can’t work our way to God, therefore He gives us the faith we need to come close to Him.  And sometimes, like the manna the Israelites had to collect each morning, we too have to pick up our faith, enough for each day.

This is both a humbling and an astounding mystery, so counter-intuitive to the quid-pro-quo economy of the human mind. We have what we have been given.  No effort.  No status produced this.  Why some get the gift and others don’t is also a mystery, and will remain so because since it’s a gift, it’s up to the Giver.

If this gift of faith is an undeserved grace, is there any reason then to bother engaging this faith with the world?  Any reason for 'evangelism'?  Any purpose in passing on the faith? 

YES

Faith being a gift of God releases us from trying to convince others to take the gift.  It’s not ours to give.  We are released from placing heavy  ‘save the world’  burdens on ourselves and are freed instead to live according to our faith in a way that “will make the teaching of God our Saviour attractive” (Titus 2:10).  Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith we can’t possibly connect to God - and that to even receive faith you need to believe that He exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who are open to seek after Him.

So the BIG question is whether there is anything to convince others of a reason to believe that God even exists.  What would make the teaching of God our Saviour attractive?

That’s where love enters.  God is love.  If so, then where’s the love?

·       You can create the most articulate argument for God and belief, but if LOVE, the very essence of God is not evident, how will anyone even believe there is a gift-giving God?  However if a person sees and feels love, belief in a God is perhaps possible.  If the thought of a God who loves is possible, then seeking after that God is possible, and then the gift of faith is possible.

Faith is not in your control.  It’s a gift of God.

Love however, is in your control.  It’s a gift you can give.

Stallion or Sailor?

Those of us who lead do so with an intention to bring about change. To create a better world or a better product is in our blood.  Our orientation is to see what could be and then make it happen.

“Make it happen”. That sounds like we can control process and outcome. Is that possible?

The premise of this “Nomadic Leader” blog is that effective leadership requires a nomadic spirit. You can read more on that in my inaugural blog from Sept 2009. We live in a world that itself is constantly transforming, therefore its essential we develop the skills to see what is changing in our world, then change ourselves accordingly. Gone is the great man theory of leadership where he/she sits atop their trusty stallion as the consummate expert and ‘general’, charging ahead into the future, leading the troops to certain victory.

I recently came across another image besides the Nomad, to characterize the kind of leadership required in this day & age. The Sailor.  Credit to the authors of the book “Getting to Maybe” for this image.  These 'sailor skills' reflect the spirit of the nomadic leader and are an essential leadership skill of this age.

“We tend to prefer the image of the leader on the charging stallion to that of a sailor trying to navigate stormy seas. The leader on the stallion seems to be in control of his destiny, while the sailor has no chance of controlling a stormy sea. The sea is too powerful to overcome with force and too unpredictable to reliably anticipate. Instead, the sailor needs to be adept at reading the weather, understanding the patterns, reacting to changes and adjusting his sails”. (p 20; "Getting to Maybe: How the World is Changed") 

I began my leadership life in the era of 5-10 year master plans, secured by a ‘stallion’ leader in place at the top. The attitude then was “come hell or high water we are going to make this happen”. That was the lingo of a true leader. I am not suggesting this age of uncertainty requires we ditch all long term planning. However, we do need a different leadership dynamic.  Here are some examples of how that dynamic is revealed in the life of a leader:

• Learn, learn, learn. Question, question, question. The moment you believe you know all there is to know and create a ‘certainty’ about things is the moment you relinquish the role of true nomadic and transformational leadership.  You have become a Settler. 
• Develop and tell a compelling story of the change you dream of creating. If you are going to get on a stallion at all, let this be what you champion! 
• Draw up your tactics in pencil. Unknown or emergent challenges & opportunities will require shifts in tactics so that you can better achieve your mission. Learn to tack like a Sailor. It may look like you are making many zigzag moves, but as long as it’s in the direction of your mission, you will make headway. 
• Talk to your employees/followers about trends and changes in real time. Keeping them in the loop, even if you are not yet sure what to do tactically, means they are better prepared in mind and commitment to make any shifts eventually required. Hold regular progress check-ins and 'status of our world' updates. Engage their input and you will find they are far more willing to adjust to changes than if you arbitrarily spring it on them. 
• Replace a need to control with toleration for ambiguity. That can be a painful transformation for some. On a practical level, it may simply mean stepping away from a knee-jerk decision and letting it sit for a day or so as a way of developing this tolerance. 

Are you suited to lead in this fluid world?

You are when you choose to be part of the dynamics of transformation rather than a separate figure sitting on a stallion leading the charge.