More lessons from the Camino. But first I must digress.
Vacations for our family were all about the destination. Definitely not the journey. Dad was the driver, and I don't just mean the noun. He DROVE to the destination. Breaks were few and far between. If you didn't pee at the scheduled stops, there was a glass jar with a sealed top in the back seat you could use. Good thing we were 5 boys. Never was sure how it worked out for my mom!
No joy in the journey. It was all about the destination.
I grew to be attracted to phrases and sentiments like "press on". I even signed my emails with this phrase. Not anymore.
· This penchant for pushing and pressing on was one reason I ended up needing a sabbatical. (see my
first blog in this Camino series). One of the greatest ironies and insights I found in the first few days of walking the Camino was how my walking habits were a metaphor for my life, and they weren't working well for me. What follows is lifted directly from my journal. Its a bit raw and I apologize for the language, but it reflects the level of frustration I felt at my condition.
Day 11. Liendo, Spain. Yet another blister dammit. Enough of this. Enough of walking in pain and toughing it
out. I have done enough of that in my
life. This is such a metaphor for my life.
Time for shorter stints and talking care of my body. The point of this sabbatical was to take care
of myself. Now I see that I have
basically walked this Camino like I have lived my life: Is my soul or heart injured? Tough it out. Keep walking. It’s
admirable on the surface. Its great
leadership optics. But it’s an
UNACCEPTABLE WISDOM. The cost is
enduring pain, a limp and an inability to fully engage the journey in joy. Shit. I’ve
done it again. I walk wounded far too
often. Sometimes we cannot avoid walking
with some pain but most times, I can and should slow the pace and even stop in
order to recoup and then proceed. What’s
the rush anyway? My importance? My
significance to the project or the issue?
Oh how I over-inflate my importance, which then makes me plow through
because “if not me, then who, and if not now, then when?” God is the power. I am the servant. He asks me to participate,
as I am able. I am not an indentured
servant with a whip at my back. So why
do I live that way???
My 'walking metaphor' taught me some things applicable to the vocation of leadership:
I tolerated rocks in my shoes for too long. Instead of taking ONE minute out of a 6 hour walking day to deal with the inevitable rocks in my shoes, I'd usually set a goal and say: "Once I get there, then I'll stop". Then I'd get there and foolishly set another goal, without dealing with the rock. (What motivated me to do this is too deeply pathological to explain!) Bottom line: I'd plow ahead in pain to reach a goal, instead of stopping to deal with the irritant.
- Leadership Reflection: We all have the strength to press forward and ignore small irritants. But little irritants, left long enough, develop into significant obstacles. STOP and deal with the irritant, whether its physical, spiritual, or relational. Life just works better this way. It's not worth walking the rest of your journey with a limp, or worse not being able to walk it at all.
You don't have to walk so fast. I set out to walk at my own pace, but got caught up in the Camino Pilgrim Scramble to get to the next location quickly in order to ensure a place to stay for the night. (Hostels were first come first served). This
race for the destination took over the
pace I desired in order to walk freely and with joy. The race mentality meant I was losing out on the beauty of the surroundings, the pauses to enjoy Spanish culture and food, the views (o those views!) and the rest opportunities at beaches, cafe's or mountaintops.
- Leadership Reflection: How you walk the path set out before you is what, in the end, distinguishes you and creates your quality of life (more on this in a future blog). Is it that important that you leave the legacy of: "They got there first"? In this short life you have, it's just not worth losing out on the beauty and joy of living. A famously rich philosopher-king named Solomon wrote about this in Ecclesiastes. Read this Biblical book.
Do not tough it out. This is more than a 'rock in your shoes' moment, or about the times when the situation demands some personal grit and determination. It's about when you are exhausted and spent in your leadership but decide to press on anyway. Some days I chose to keep walking despite horrible blisters. I remember one day after a few days of toughing it out, another ailment emerged: a shin splint. But as you have probably gathered about me - I plowed on that whole day anyway and limped into a forced day of rest.
- Leadership Reflection: Too many leaders press on so hard that they are then forced to rest because of complete exhaustion. That's costly to them personally, to their organizations and to the purpose/objective for which they have committed their lives. Build a regular 'sabbath' into your life, a time to step away from everything. Not only will it afford a time for healing where you may be hurting, but it affords your mind body & soul space for renewal and strengthening.
Get a grip on your pace of life and get yourself out of the race of life.
Harv Matchullis
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