When Leaders Are Lost

LOST - there's never really a 'final season'.

I recently lost my way.

Feeling confident of my direction, I left a great non-profit role to start a business.  Things started well, but who knew the economic fall of 2008 was just around the corner?  However another opportunity emerged that seemed perfect to bridge the financial gap and simultaneously launch the business further towards my long term goals.  But another redirection happened and there I was – not even back full circle to where I started, but further behind.  It was a loss.  I felt lost.  Defeat and failure (real & perceived), enshrouded my psyche & soul.

While this is a common experience to entrepreneurs, it’s also common among most leaders.  The truth is that as we navigate our way through the leadership journey, some roads don’t work out.  What then?

In the story of an ancient Biblical character named Job, at one point he complains to God:  

“You have unstrung my bow”

That’s a captivating description.  It’s one thing not to have any arrows to shoot.  But it’s completely another issue when there is no string on the bow.  Without the string, there is nothing to propel the arrows of your dreams, skills, talents or resources forward.  What I had experienced was not a loss of my skills, but the string: my dreams, confidence and character.  Loss, whether real or perceived, ‘unstrings our bow’.  When the source of power to launch your arrows has been dealt a blow, you had better pay attention.  No increase in your arrow count will enable you to lead unless you deal with getting that string back on the bow.

FOUR FACTORS THAT CAN GET US ‘UNSTRUNG’

(Of course there’s more...you fill in yours)

1.       Unexpected circumstances.  Let’s face it, all the strategic foresight, scenario and contingency planning in the world cannot predict everything that may come down the pike.  The future is not determined by the past, nor are the ends fully determined by the means. Unpredictability is predictable.  Yet when it comes it is often still a shock to our system.  And, if you have bet the farm on a particular result, the string on the bow of your leadership get’s especially slack.  Not only does it shake your confidence and your future-modelling scenarios, the “I have never been here before” sensation is an unpleasant reminder that you are still imperfect!

2.       Uncooperative people.  Leaders are nothing without people, and if those people refuse to be led, it’s a tragedy.  You have a quiver full of arrows but no ability to use them.  Sometimes the solution may be to fire them, but more often than not this is also an issue of a leader who has lost his/her ability to motivate and propel people into service.  The bow has been unstrung.  

3.       Hubris.  From the fable of Humpty Dumpty to the Bibles’ “pride goes before a fall” declaration, when leadership overconfidence & pride run up against the walls of reality, they crash.  It’s not pretty.  Think the Costa Concordia’s captain, or Enron, or other leaders’ names you can pluck from the news.  The great tragedy here is that it not only reveals a leader’s immaturity to themselves, but to the rest of the watching world.  The captain of the Costa Concordia still has his mariner’s skills.  The arrows are still in the quiver.  What he doesn’t have is the confidence of the world (or Carnival Cruise Lines) to likely ever use them again. His bowstring holds no power today.

4.       Inattention to the personal side of leadership.  Defining leadership only by the set of skills required is a devastating deception. Thankfully leadership development authors & programs lately are putting a greater emphasis on value formation and the inner life.    A leader is a package of both personal and professional components.  When a leader experiences losing their way (and all leaders will at various points in the journey), their core self is revealed.  Crisis does not so much MAKE character as much as it REVEALS what is already there.  Before the crisis hits, every leader should ask themselves:  “What will keep the bowstring tight enough so I can continue to utilize the arrows at my disposal”? 

FOUR SOLUTIONS WHEN THE BOW IS UNSTRUNG

1.       Power up and power through.  This is usually fueled by one of the factors that get us unstrung in the first place – pride/hubris.  On the surface it seems like a true leader’s reaction. Suck it up; pull it up; get things up and running; create a sense of ‘up’ for yourself and your followers.  When a leader encounters a stressful event, brain science teaches us that a cascade of neurotransmitters and hormones is released into his/her system resulting in a short-term increase in strength, concentration and reaction time. These changes may be helpful in the initial response to a stressful event, but if the stress remains high enough for a long enough period of time, disastrous effects will follow. Unfortunately this natural and ‘instinctive’ approach ignores the deficits currently existing within you.  You are already diminished and yet you are trying to expend greater energy.  How long will that last?  In the end you will be throwing arrows by hand.  Trying to do the right things but with no power behind them.

2.       Protectionism.  This is a common personal and even political reaction to becoming unstrung.  The US economy is a current example on the political front.  Their national economic foundations are unravelling, so they have put up barriers to keep things within national walls.  We also practice protectionism on a personal front by:

a. Deflecting criticism so as not to be seen as ‘wrong’.

b. Going ‘dark’: restricting or shutting off communication as a way of avoiding accountability.

c. Staying the course and dealing with the situation using status-quo thinking, tools and strategies.

What’s ironic is we build these walls with our arrows, using up our skills and energies to preserve what we have. It’s not even so much that our power (the string) to launch arrows is diminished. Our skills are being preoccupied to keep things ‘as is’.

3.       Complacency.  This is different than protectionism – at least protectionism is a strategy.  Complacency isn’t.  The only ‘solution’ complacency provides is to numb the pain.  It’s like taking drugs – a temporary relief from reality, but at some point reality will return, and it won’t be pretty.  The other challenge that the complacency-solution presents is its compounding deterioration of personal leadership identity.  Leaders are born and made for moving forward.  Complacency causes you to build a permanent structure around your circumstance.  Rather than being a nomadic explorer-leader by nature, you have settled into a lifestyle in conflict with your leadership character.  The bowstring goes slack.  

4.       Live IN it.  The only solution is to STOP and pay attention to the unstrung bow.  Dwell there for a while.  It seems counter-intuitive to not act, but in reality taking time for assessment and any necessary adjustments is a leadership action.  The downside of visionary leadership is we so easily get our sights set on something that is so far out in the future that we miss what’s going on in our life as it exists right now.  Character is diminished in a thousand small acts of negligence but is built by stopping long enough to pay attention to the burning issues in our lives.

WHAT CAN YOU PRACTICE TO KEEP THAT BOWSTRING TIGHT?

·         Build solitude and meditation into your life.  This is true for all leadership-types, but especially those who are naturally extroverted.  The shadow-side of extroversion is neglect of the inner life.  Begin and end your day with some moments to reflect on WHO you intend to be during that day and HOW you will demonstrate your intentions.  End the day with an assessment of your performance to your own intentions.

      Don't get out too fast!  Instinct drives us to get out of a crisis as soon as possible.  Resist that urge and choose to stay in the moment and the context long enough to truly discern the lessons for you and for your organization.  If you don't opt for learning, you are opting to repeat your errors.

·         Create and sustain a peer network.  It’s simply foolish to lead alone.  Yes, you may feel lonely at times but it’s not inevitable or part of the package that you be alone.  Proactively recruit 2-3 other people (they don’t need to be in your organization) who are peers in leadership.  Invite them to sit with you to talk and keep each other accountable to maintaining the values, character and personal strength needed to keep the bowstring tight.  Invite those people to these specific criteria.  You will be surprised at how many are longing for a group like you are proposing.

·         Give yourself away.  Where are you involved that demonstrates your life isn’t about YOU?  Leadership can too easily be about ego, compensation and other selfish ambitions.  Getting involved in a volunteer capacity with something/someone completely outside (and disassociated with) your work will enrich & expand your perspective on what true life entails.

·         Check-in with yourself once in a while.  This is a matter of intention.  When and how will you take inventory of your life?  If it’s true that the unexamined life is not worth living, what form will those examinations take?  Some ideas include:

o   Journaling

o   Personal retreats (guided or according to your own agenda)

o   Prayer & meditation

o   Counselling

o   Coaching*

o   Peer or friendship accountability

As for that Job character, he lived with the feeling of being ‘unstrung’ for a while longer until he gained some truly ‘divine perspective’ on his life.  As for me, it’s been the most challenging road ever, but I do know my character & perspectives have matured.  How far they have matured will be known the next time I'm on a road that isn't working out.

Harv Matchullis

* I work with motivated people and organizations to help them ‘check in’ and then lay the tracks to where they need to go next.  Contact me for a discussion about personal, leadership or team coaching.  info@visiontracks.ca  or www.visiontracks.ca